1. |
Going For Oysters
04:36
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Does it hurt when you go blind
And why do I google things like this?
Follow you back down the stairs
And change into my dress in your office
can you tell when you lose your mind
And how do you fight the panic?
I keep asking you in the car
Till you get mad and tell me to stop it
We go down to the fun part of town
Where you treat me to things I can’t afford
You’re a loser and I’m a pariah
But I never liked to keep score
In the dungeon of your heart
You say I’m a light switch on the wall
Does dementia feel like clouds
In your brain that you can’t get around?
Do the old things fade away?
Summer camp and learning how to skate
You tell me to let it go
Parliaments tucked into your winter coat
We go down to the fun part of town
Where you treat me to things I can’t afford
You’re a loser and I’m a pariah
But I never liked to keep score
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2. |
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When I was seventeen I had my lover in a headlock
We drove to capitol hill and watched the sun set over bruton snuff
He tried to melt my heart but I was so inconsistent
Now I am older and I don’t know why I’m still so distant
You sound so sad when you call
You say the city makes you feel so small
Could I be the cause?
You say it’s not my fault
But you look at me like I let you down
When you look at me
I feel like I’m seventeen
I can’t grow up for you now
When I left tennessee I missed the train tracks and the bird calls
Down on Delancey street I felt so at home leaning on the wall
You say when you’re in love you’re alright with dropping everything
Sometimes it makes me feel like I don’t know what loving means
You could give up and go home
But would that make you feel any less alone?
Could I be the cause? You say it’s not my fault
But you look at me like I let you down
When you look at me
I feel like I’m seventeen
I can’t grow up for you now
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3. |
Oh My God
03:53
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Give me a minute to talk to you
I think I can change your mind
If you’re leaving cause of me that’s a big mistake,
If it’s something else I guess that’s fine
Orchards of apple trees flyin by
Out the window of the van
If you’re leavin cause you’re looking for something
Someone like me could never start to understand
Tell me the truth
Tell me that you’ve grown
Tell me that it’s not the same now when we’re alone
True love isnt real
Everyone was wrong
You don’t need me to hold you anymore cause you got strong
Shipleys in the park
Jim beam in the dark
My fingers on your collarbones
High life in a can
Faint sound of the fan
My fingers on your collarbones
Oh my god
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4. |
thanks to u
02:45
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I wanted to call,
Tell you you’re sweet
Tell you about my car crash and my week
But we
Sort of agreed
You’re not that person for me anymore
Hey
I talk to your friends
All of the time they say you’re finishing the game
You started with me
You’re playin with rob, I couldn’t be happier for y’all
I was on
Dickerson pike
11:15 after the Iven set
This kid
Ran a red light
Hurtled into me like a flicked cigarette
I flew
Like a grey dove
Into the parking lot of truist bank
I’m fine
Baby I’m fine
But I’ve been thinkin that I should say thanks to you
So thanks
For being that person
for me for like a month and a half of our lives
It really meant a lot
I’m gonna think of you the next couple times I almost die
If that’s ok
I swear I won’t call cause that’d be out of bounds
Sometimes
My head can get slammed
Into the windshield and all my words stay in my mouth
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5. |
Finger on the Tear
03:55
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I had my finger on the tear in the heart of your conscience two thousand fourteen
You were driving down Gallatin acting like a bomb threat trying to impress me
And that guy you pulled the knife on could’ve been my future husband
We don’t know that he wasn’t, it’s a small town
I thought I could be a staple for your skin but I’m not able to fasten
Flying bodies to the ground
I wasn’t lookin for someone to save me back then but you knew the ropes
You were born in East Nashville,
Baby that’s a rare thing nowadays you know
And I couldn’t fight that fire when it
Came from cross the river
I was known as the girl you’d bring around
I thought I could be a staple for your skin but I’m not able to fasten
Flying bodies to the ground
Summer sure goes fast when you forget to ask
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6. |
Are you like me?
04:57
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Fitted sheet too small for the bed
You drove to my house and said
I’m wondering are you like me?
I said I’m not like anyone
Aquarium in the sun
Laundry room washing my jeans
I am not like you
Cause im built for drinkin
And ruining lives when I drink
Swingin from the rafters
And running and laughing
And picking up coins in the street
I am a knife people
Use to carve off little
Bits of themselves from the whole
But I wish I was something
More understandable
Softer and safer to hold
When you press your forehead into my temple and breathe little lies on my cheek
Sayin are you like me?
Are you like me?
Are you like me?
I think you might be like me
I’m cosmically sorry
for everything baby
I wish I did not do you harm
In the sink with my sleeves rolled up
Color changing plastic cups
And bruises all over my arms
I am not like you
In any capacity
And you love to tell me I’m not a disaster
But everybody tries
Everybody’s tried
Everybody tried
Everybody tried
When I was the knife that they
used to carve off little
Bits of themselves from the whole
I wish I was something
More understandable
Softer and safer to hold
When you press your forehead
Into my temple
And breathe little lies on my cheek
Sayin are you like me?
Are you like me?
Are you like me?
I think you might be like me
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7. |
Sand Time Machine
04:01
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Owen’s house is full of sunlight and dusty corners
I command the power and the tools to make it clean
Owen smells like fresh cut grass in the morning
When he mows the lawn and makes me breakfast while I sleep
How I hate to be a ghost
I make his eyes look haunted
I try to let him know
It’s not what I wanted
Love is like an hourglass with no bottom
That you empty then you leave
A sand time machine
I would like to scour his bathroom tile and scrub his baseboards
I would go out back and pick the flowers off his weeds
Put them in a jar and set it on the kitchen table
And sit right there pretending that he still belongs to me
How I hate to be a ghost
I make his eyes look haunted
I try to let him know
It’s not what I wanted
Love is like an hourglass with no bottom
That you empty then you leave
A sand time machine
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8. |
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Grandpa died standing upright
On two feet
Listening to queens song we will rock you
On repeat
Parking garage half mile walk
Down the street
I cried
I’m never giving up
In this family we don’t take any
Pills to cope
If that train never comes back
I can’t go home
On the platform talkin to you
On the phone
I cried
I’m never giving up
I cried for at least a thousand years
I cried until my house was made of tears!
And my car was made of tears
And the time elapsed
And I relapsed again
I’m gonna try and try again
I hope you’re fine
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9. |
Heart Container
03:47
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Got home safe
Puttin on tea
Thanks for working on this with me
I know it’s weird and I know it’s hard
But somehow you got this piece of my heart
Piece of my heart that I can’t give
Making me live a way I don’t wanna live
Showing up to your house at night
Lettin you borrow the books I like
Ahhhhh, Jesus christ
I wanna get killed
So I can stop this nonsense
Ahhhhh, Jesus freak
Blue and white sheets
And a wall of trophies
From high school track
A little to the left
A little less hard
Im gonna get that piece of your heart
Standing in the drive thru teaching you to dance
Chipped off black nail polish on your hands
Piece of your heart that you can’t give
Making you live a way you don’t wanna live
Shoes on the bed not noticing the dirt
Pulling on the stretched out collar of your shirt
Ahhhhh, Jesus Christ
I wanna get killed
so I can stop this nonsense
Ahhhhh, Jesus freak
Parked next to the creek
With a picture of a dog taped
To your dashboard
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Bats Nashville, Tennessee
Bats is a band from Nashville, TN. Songs are by Jess Awh, a writer and carpenter who loves oatmeal and other such gruels
pumpkinmaster999@gmail.com
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